Today I feel crummy, although I promised myself I wouldn’t in fact I thought I would be revved up with energy , I’d conquer the world and finish the essay I have to submit & even read through the book which i have been avoiding for the last 6 months.

I reach the office spot-on at 9 am. I see the supervisor of the telesales unit that I run, berating the security guard for letting someone into the premises. Some unsolicited visitor I thought as I strolled to swipe my card. I get to my seat and I see the same security guard asking one of the telesales agents of the unit who sits a few seats behind me to leave the premises.

I’m shocked.

My assistant hasn’t reached office yet. I am seething, I very clearly told my assistant not to take any actions without consulting me. OK so he did tell me that he was going to let-go of the agent; we’ve been having far too many problems with him and we have truly & honestly given as many chances possible.

So as the bewildered telesales agent looks at the guard, here’s what I do: I flee the scene.

I do this because I am on ‘I’m-not-going-to-save-the-world’ break right now. I am on the ‘I’m-going-to-save-myself-first’ diet and that allows me to look after myself because after years of self-sacrifice , fighting other people causes & then experiencing a meltdown , coupled with the feeling of being used, I have the right to do this.

I go back in the office; I look to see if my assistant has arrived, he hasn’t. I go back outside. The agent is standing out looking at the parking space below; I call out to him to follow me. I make him sit in the small conference room and order tea for him.

I’m no longer seething by the time my assistant shows up. I’m actually sad. I tell him you cannot treat a person like that, I try the old traditional scare tactic I say “he might curse you; your wedding is coming up”. Assistant is unmoved. I now officially hate myself.

Couple of hours later the agent has gone home, the Assistant is back on his seat. And I re-read and forward to my assistant, the blog entry posted on Brazen Careerist by Jamie Nacht Farrell

http://bizrelationships.wordpress.com/2010/04/09/people-dont-leave-companies-they-leave-managers/

She says: I had another great mentor, Richard Capezzali, who said to me when I was 24 years old, “Firing people is a bad thing. It is always the manager’s fault. It means that you’ve either done a bad job hiring the sales person, training them, or managing them. Before you fire someone, you better be able to look in the mirror and say to yourself, ‘I did everything in my power to save that person’s job.’”
Don’t ever be ‘proud’ of yourself for firing someone. I have met some managers that are PROUD to say, “i’ve fired 1000s of people, this is no big deal”
It IS a big deal for someone to walk away from your company. If you look at each of your employees like a commodity, add up how much revenue they will have driven that year. See how many MORE commodities you will have to hire to make up for what you’ve lost.
It is also a big deal to fire someone. You are changing a life. You are in a position of control. Don’t abuse that position…remember, you have to look at yourself in the mirror every night.

Assistant replies with someone’s article which states that a toxic employee should be let go sooner rather than later. I agree but he misses the point.

Taking away someone’s job is a big deal, you, in effect, change / impact his life. And when you do have to take away someone’s livelihood don’t take his dignity too. Granted the agent is only a 20 year old kid, but he has every right to be treated with dignity. A part of me believes that because my assistant is a rich kid and the agent is from a background of limited means is the reason why I’m bothered so much.

And then I correct myself- I’m bothered because truly it is my failure and I have to own it. I did not instill enough professionalism in my assistant of 6 months for him to realize it’s not the decision but how it was implemented, is what is wrong here. I chose to save myself, when today maybe was the time I should have saved someone else. I failed because that 20-year old kid, whom I saved twice earlier because I believed in him, let me down. My assistant disappointed me too. But I’ve disappointed myself with my apathy.

Tomorrow I will do better, tomorrow I will try once more to save that kid, I’m the one with the final signing authority after all. I will try transferring him again, hoping this time one of other departments will agree to take him. Tomorrow I will try being a hero again, but not today; today I just need to save my selfish self so that I can be a hero to someone once again.