A failed manager, a failed hero

Today I feel crummy, although I promised myself I wouldn’t in fact I thought I would be revved up with energy , I’d conquer the world and finish the essay I have to submit & even read through the book which i have been avoiding for the last 6 months.

I reach the office spot-on at 9 am. I see the supervisor of the telesales unit that I run, berating the security guard for letting someone into the premises. Some unsolicited visitor I thought as I strolled to swipe my card. I get to my seat and I see the same security guard asking one of the telesales agents of the unit who sits a few seats behind me to leave the premises.

I’m shocked.

My assistant hasn’t reached office yet. I am seething, I very clearly told my assistant not to take any actions without consulting me. OK so he did tell me that he was going to let-go of the agent; we’ve been having far too many problems with him and we have truly & honestly given as many chances possible.

So as the bewildered telesales agent looks at the guard, here’s what I do: I flee the scene.

I do this because I am on ‘I’m-not-going-to-save-the-world’ break right now. I am on the ‘I’m-going-to-save-myself-first’ diet and that allows me to look after myself because after years of self-sacrifice , fighting other people causes & then experiencing a meltdown , coupled with the feeling of being used, I have the right to do this.

I go back in the office; I look to see if my assistant has arrived, he hasn’t. I go back outside. The agent is standing out looking at the parking space below; I call out to him to follow me. I make him sit in the small conference room and order tea for him.

I’m no longer seething by the time my assistant shows up. I’m actually sad. I tell him you cannot treat a person like that, I try the old traditional scare tactic I say “he might curse you; your wedding is coming up”. Assistant is unmoved. I now officially hate myself.

Couple of hours later the agent has gone home, the Assistant is back on his seat. And I re-read and forward to my assistant, the blog entry posted on Brazen Careerist by Jamie Nacht Farrell

http://bizrelationships.wordpress.com/2010/04/09/people-dont-leave-companies-they-leave-managers/

She says: I had another great mentor, Richard Capezzali, who said to me when I was 24 years old, “Firing people is a bad thing. It is always the manager’s fault. It means that you’ve either done a bad job hiring the sales person, training them, or managing them. Before you fire someone, you better be able to look in the mirror and say to yourself, ‘I did everything in my power to save that person’s job.’”
Don’t ever be ‘proud’ of yourself for firing someone. I have met some managers that are PROUD to say, “i’ve fired 1000s of people, this is no big deal”
It IS a big deal for someone to walk away from your company. If you look at each of your employees like a commodity, add up how much revenue they will have driven that year. See how many MORE commodities you will have to hire to make up for what you’ve lost.
It is also a big deal to fire someone. You are changing a life. You are in a position of control. Don’t abuse that position…remember, you have to look at yourself in the mirror every night.

Assistant replies with someone’s article which states that a toxic employee should be let go sooner rather than later. I agree but he misses the point.

Taking away someone’s job is a big deal, you, in effect, change / impact his life. And when you do have to take away someone’s livelihood don’t take his dignity too. Granted the agent is only a 20 year old kid, but he has every right to be treated with dignity. A part of me believes that because my assistant is a rich kid and the agent is from a background of limited means is the reason why I’m bothered so much.

And then I correct myself- I’m bothered because truly it is my failure and I have to own it. I did not instill enough professionalism in my assistant of 6 months for him to realize it’s not the decision but how it was implemented, is what is wrong here. I chose to save myself, when today maybe was the time I should have saved someone else. I failed because that 20-year old kid, whom I saved twice earlier because I believed in him, let me down. My assistant disappointed me too. But I’ve disappointed myself with my apathy.

Tomorrow I will do better, tomorrow I will try once more to save that kid, I’m the one with the final signing authority after all. I will try transferring him again, hoping this time one of other departments will agree to take him. Tomorrow I will try being a hero again, but not today; today I just need to save my selfish self so that I can be a hero to someone once again.

 

what to do when everyone at work is sad…but you are happy

Its a strange day, strange because even though I’m still lagging behind on the presentation i had to submit , the fact that the portfolio is losing money daily and I still haven’t moved an inch on my ‘other’ projects , I’m feeling oddly happy , no wait, oddly at peace.

Its because i had a great weekend – weekend means Friday , Saturday & Sunday- great because i got to reconnect with people & friends who matter to me , and to whom i matter. and that just felt so good. Sunday was even better because i got to think about the week , myself , and all i did was sleep , wake up then go online, eat & sleep again. i did not do what i usually do on a Sunday – organize my closet while wondering why i couldn’t have a better weekend.

And as self-absorbed I am these days , having rediscovered myself and with my head buzzing full of ideas , it was really late in the day today (Monday) that i got to know that people around me were in the dumps.

My neighbor was actually sad , not worried not upset , just sad, and while there maybe some of his routine habits that annoy me – it was crummy to see him sad , because he’s a jolly good fellow albeit a crafty one , but jolly nonetheless. He brought up his reason of sadness- his appraisal & while i did advise him to ask for more clarification on his evaluation, a part of me selfishly thought ‘how did he not see this coming’ , because really i did see this coming for him for a longtime now, actually i thought much worse was in store for him.

At one point I even pondered whether i should give him a heads-up on it but decided against it since i figured i could be wrong. I’m not sure if I should have offered more consolation or empathy; the thing is cant do that unless i genuinely feel it- and here i dint, it felt sad seeing him sad, but that’s about it. I know that there were enough signposts for him throughout the year , and i guess that’s the worst part that he missed them totally or maybe they weren’t made that obvious to him.

One of kids in my unit whose rich girlfriend emigrated to Australia, for whom he gave the IELTS exam twice , learnt to speak English, and was pushing his parents to shell out money to send him to Australia too , had his heart broken today. His girlfriend dumped , she’s marrying someone there. this kid is actually good at heart and in the 2 years that he’s been in my unit I’ve seen him improve remarkably and the fact that he’s done so well gives me more pride that the portfolio’s growth. But today he was sad , the sole motivation for his improvement had dumped him. what do you say in a situation like this? cheer up you’ll find a better girlfriend? i didn’t say anything.

My assistant informed me that he has flunked his economics paper and that he too is sad – well that didn’t have much impact on me & to be honest I’m actually a little glad – he gave the paper without cheating (and without studying i guess) and failed , this is better than his previous track of cheating & passing – something which really bothers me. it also fits in well with my plans to hire a boss for him – its not like i didn’t make this clear when i was hiring him – in fact i was very specific that there would be a layer b/w him & me. Since I haven’t brought someone on board as yet i think he believes i am not going to do so eventually.

The rest of the department has been oddly quiet – in fact by 6pm it was totally empty which is rare and i don’t think its a case of Monday blues. okay so appraisals didn’t go their way. i guess i am the least perturbed by the appraisal review probably because with time i have learnt that appraisals are not a verdict on your abilities , and no appraisal is ever going to have a life changing impact on you.

Here appraisals are primarily a tool to give you a raise. Even if you did terrible work throughout the year the organization where I work still gives you a raise (big or small) , you do end up making more money than you did last year- so the real appraisal /performance review is ‘whether or not you are the same person that you were in your last appraisal session’ – I know I’m not, I’ve had one hell of year , I tried so many things , most of them have not seen the light of the day but i tried and i felt challenged and in the process i grew.

My neighbor didn’t – he missed the signposts & didn’t really challenge himself for reasons better known to him. I hope he eventually realizes this , maybe he already does , one can never be sure , so I am guessing that’s really why he is sad. I know I would be.

so what do you do when everyone at the workplace is sad but your happy… you stay happy, afterall its taken such a long time to get there.

 

how to choose b/w an appointment with your stylist & a lunch with friends

Its easy, but I almost said no. Choose the Friends. besides I’m having more great hair days than ever before, in fact i realized i do have great hair, but my social life sucks and besides I’ve been feeling real lonely today. there isn’t a soul at work with whom I’d like to chat.
Which brings me to these incessant calls I’ve been getting since morning…

The one person who i know is a good networking connection (read as: can help me find a new job) wants me to resolve his outstanding loan problem. And the truth is , since he defaulted on the loan, the problem aint going away. Which brings it back to why he’s calling me – you see when he and I worked in conjunction, he knew that the one person who could get a problem resolved was me. He & the agency where he worked at had to interact with so many people at the company (where i work) , most of whom were unreasonable and condescending but that he could handle, but when it came to payments , getting invoices cleared – I was his girl Friday.

I did this a lot for so many of my co-workers, for no particular reason except that i knew i might be able to help. And those co-workers and this agency guy(& other agency people who I worked with) were thankful, but maybe that’s not what I wanted. Helping them wasn’t exactly the calling of my life, I did so because I was sick of the ever ringing phone asking me to help with the payments and the co-worker sitting next to me whining that the product team just wont sign on the invoice.

So no surprises that payment processor/savior image of mine seems to have stuck with all those with whom i interacted in my Marketing Services days. And every now & then i get a call from someone whom i haven’t heard from in the last 2-3 years , and I don’t pick up – because i know they want my help, but now i really don’t want to help. So this ex-agency guy who I thought and still think is a good networking connection, will not be getting any good news regarding his loan (becoz of the payment terms violation) , and i know he won’t be helping me anytime soon. And besides i realized that I’m not really looking for a new job , I’m looking for a major life change.

What kind of savior am I if I cant continue to help others? Hey I know – the kind who has to help herself first.

So when faced with the choice b/w an appointment with your stylist and a lunch with friends, choose the friends – they’ll last longer than the hair cut…

Thanks CF for the lunch treat and for suggesting lunch in the 1st place, thanks Emmy for joining in & not saying no. A great hair day and a really good lunch , what more could one want …